Scratchy
by BEARSHARK
Summary: By semi-popular demand, a VinylPie story. One's a deadbeat DJ; the other's a hyperactive baker. Together, they are: VINYLPIE! They travel through town, doing stuff and then doing more stuff! That's about it, really. Nothing too spectacular. Rated for Vinyl's filthy, filthy mouth and some poorly-written and awkwardly-placed innuendo.
1. Awkward

A/N

Alright, yes, the first chapter is done. Keep it in your pants, guys and girls.

Unless you're a hot girl. Then pics or it didn't happen.

* * *

"That was _fun_!" Pinkie exclaimed, demanding the highest of fives from the DJ beside her while giggling like a maniac, as per usual. "Y'know, we make a good team!"

"Dude, I know!" Vinyl replied, giving the five with gusto. The wedding went pretty well after the shapeshifting bug monsters got chucked back whence they came, thanks in no small part to some sick fucking drops that totally made Twilight's sweet-ass vocals sound like those of a crying baby by comparison. "We should, like, _hang out_ or something!"

"Oh, we _should_!" The pink lady agreed, bouncing in place from the sheer happiness that idea filled her with. Pinkie was the type of person who could only get off if she made at least three new friends in a day, and at last count, that DJ lady made nine. "Hey, it's only like ten! You wanna help me put a whoopie cushion on every chair in the castle?"

"Uh... won't we get, like, arrested?"

Pinkie grew a diabolical smile that looked strangely out of place on the young lady, and wrapped her arm around her new partner in crime. "Of course not, Silly! _I_ have friends in high places."

Suddenly, the pink lady pulled a 180, turning with her one-armed hug hostage to face Princess Celestia, who was fiddling with the punch ladel. "HEY PRINCESS!" The pink lady shouted, causing Celestia to turn towards them. "WE'RE GONNA GO PUT WHOOPIE CUSHIONS ALL OVER THE CASTLE!"

Celestia laughed, and nodded. "Very well. Have fun you two!" She replied, and as the two young women started their journey into the castle, she placed, the ladel back into the punch bowl, along with the hole she carved into the bottom. "You'd think they'd learn to watch me while I'm at the punch bowl." She said to herself, chuckling. She had a habit of doing this at every party she's ever been to, and at least four royal orgies. But there hadn't been a royal orgy in about six hundred years, and that fact made her quite sad.

But back to the protagonists. Pinkie led Vinyl to what might have been a storeroom of some sort. It was big, and empty save for a number of wooden crates, and the pink lady must have decided that it would suffice, because she immediately withdrew both her arms through her sleeves, and slid the whole thing off. Apparently, she was a firm believer in always coming prepared, because she then flipped her dress upside-down, revealing rows upon rows of deflated, and neatly folded, whoopie cushions. "Whoa." Vinyl said, trying to count them and then giving up almost immediately. They were damn near infinite, and math was boring. "Do you take these everywhere?"

"Of course not, silly!" The other lady said, bending down and starting what was probably going to be the long and tedious job of unhooking them all. "I'd look ridiculous if I carried all of these around with me everywhere! I usually hide a few in my shirt, though." She added, shrugging. "I've also got a bunch of them stashed around town. Y'know, in case of a prank emergency. Here," She began, handing a neat stack to Vinyl, who accepted them somewhat hesitantly. Even though the Princess seemed fine with the idea, she had a bit of a criminal record, and while it was nothing serious (mostly disturbing the peace and, once when she get _really_ drunk, public indecency), she would much rather steer clear of people who had the ability to arrest her. "Hold these for me. I bet you didn't bring a catsuit, huh?"

"A... a _catsuit_?" The DJ asked, obviously confused. "No, I didn't. Sorry."

"That's okay!" Pinkie exclaimed, reaching an arm _waaaay_ into the gigantic, floofy domey thing (TM BEARSHARK 2012) at the bottom of her dress, and withdrawing what was obviously the tightest-fitting thing anyone has ever worn, ever. "You can use mine!"

"Uh... huh. I see. Well, this was fun." Vinyl said, opening the door, fully prepared to put as much distance between herself and the crazy lady who may or may not also be a ninja, apparently. "But I think I hear Octavia calling. She's my ride home, and I'd hate to keep her waiting. So... uh... bye, I guess."

Pinkie blinked confusedly a few times, frowned briefly, and then smiled again, even wider than she was before. "Okey dokey, lokey! I'll see you around!"

"Yeah. Seeya."

She closed the door, and sighed. She'd been in a number of awkward situations before, drunk off her ass or otherwise, but that one took the cake. Alone in a room with a crazy pink lady that seemed to think carrying around a shitload of whoopie cushions was more important than _wearing something under her dress_.

Well, that mental picture would be with her for a while, whether she wanted it to or not. And she kind of wanted it to. As far as completely batshit insane people go, Pinkie wasn't too hard on the eyes. And honestly, Vinyl always wondered if she was a natural pink. Now she knew.

Yes. Yes she was.

"There you are!" Said Octavia, rounding the corner, hand on her hips in the universal stance of 'you're about to get an earful.' "I've been looking all over for you! I had to ask the Princess if she saw where you got off to!"

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, _mom_." Vinyl replied, mimicing her adopted sister's stance. Vinyl came from a family of famous musicians, and just when she was just about to get born, someone dropped a perfectly good baby on her parent's doorstep. Long story short, Vinyl decided classical wasn't really her style, while Octavia simply couldn't get enough of the stuff. This resulted in more than few disputes (read: fights) while growing up. They both got their marks when they tied for first place in their school's talent competition, and it was about that time that her sister accepted Vinyl's quote-unquote 'wubs' as a type of music, and they've gotten along pretty well ever since. Not fabulously, but pretty well. The cellist glared at her sister, and then flicked her on the nose, causing the DJ to let loose a stream of profanity people usually only heard when she was drinking. "Ow, what the fuck!"

"At least I _wear_ panties, Vinyl. C'mon let's get home."

"What? Boxers are comfier."

* * *

"Good morning to you too." Octavia groaned, pouring herself a glass of orange juice. Vinyl was humming (_humming_) in tune with the custom dishwasher she made last year, which didn't use soap, because soap was for pussies. It used wubs to turn the water into a sweet-ass rave party, after which the water got its shit together long enough to clean the dishes. At least, that's how Vinyl described it. Octavia, who paid enough attention in school to know how sound waves affect standing water, begged to differ, but she kept that opinion to herself. Her sister was quite proud of the machine, and it worked, so she saw no harm in it. But, thankfully, she was able to convince Vinyl to soundproof the thing, so it didn't blow out every window in the house (again). "What's for breakfast?"

"Bass."

"Very funny. Seriously, I'm famished, and you know what happens when I attempt to cook." The older sister said, sitting at the table and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Fire. Fire happens."

Laughing because it's true, Vinyl dropped a plate of waffles onto the table before her, which he pounced upon before stopping dead. "Wait a moment. It's your birthday."

"Of course not. My birthday's in the Spring."

"It _is_ Spring. May tenth. Your birthday. So happy birthday, I suppose." She added, quite unenthusiastically. "Remind me to get you a cake or something later."

"Shit!" The younger sister suddenly exclaimed, tossing her apron to the floor ("I'm not picking that up." Octavia said, chewing slowly.) and running over to the window. "Shit shit shit. Okay, um... act natural!"

"I'm not already acting natural?"

"Shut up, you know what I mean."

Suddenly, there was a knock on their door, followed by a few more knocks, followed on one last knock, followed by a surprise knock that just completely fucked their shit up. Vinyl took a deep breath, gathere herself, and opened the door, revealing a smiling pink lady. "Uh... hey, Pinkie."

"Hey! It's your birthday, right?"

"Yeah, but-"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCRATCHY! Oh, can I call you Scratchy? I mean, I don't usually use nicknames, but Vinyl's kind of a weird name, no offense, and Scratchy's kinda catchy, y'know? Oh, I rhymed!" She added, giggling insanely. "Anyway, I stopped by to drop off your gift and say hello and then say goodbye and then leave so bye!" She said all of this very, _very _quickly, and it took a few seconds for Vinyl's brain to comprehend any of it. By the time it had, of course, the pink lady was long gone, and Vinyl realized she was holding a small, wrapped box.

"I... I feel like my brain just got raped. It was really weird."

"Before you say another word, let me ask you something. _Why_ were you dreading a visit from Pinkie?"

"Long story."

"You two were only gone for five minutes last night. Can't be that long."

* * *

_Pinkie led Vinyl to what might have been a storeroom of some sort. It was big, and empty save for a number of wooden crates, and the pink lady must have decided that it would suffice, because she immediately withdrew both her arms through her sleeves, and slid the whole thing off. Apparently, she was a firm believer in always coming prepared, because she then flipped her dress upside-down, revealing rows upon rows of deflated, and neatly folded, whoopie cushions. "Whoa." Vinyl said, trying to count them and then giving up almost immediately. They were damn near infinite, and math was boring. "Do you take these everywhere?"_

_"Of course not, silly!" The other lady said, bending down and starting what was probably going to be the long and tedious job of unhooking them all. "I'd look ridiculous if I carried all of these around with me everywhere! I usually hide a few in my shirt, though." She added, shrugging. "I've also got a bunch of them stashed around town. Y'know, in case of a prank emergency. Here," She began, handing a neat stack to Vinyl, who accepted them somewhat hesitantly. Even though the Princess seemed fine with the idea, she had a bit of a criminal record, and while it was nothing serious (mostly disturbing the peace and, once when she get really drunk, public indecency), she would much rather steer clear of people who had the ability to arrest her. "Hold these for me. I bet you didn't bring a catsuit, huh?"_

_"A... a catsuit?" The DJ asked, obviously confused. "No, I didn't. Sorry."_

_"That's okay!" Pinkie exclaimed, reaching an arm waaaay into the gigantic, floofy domey thing at the bottom of her dress, and withdrawing what was obviously the tightest-fitting thing anyone has ever worn, ever. "You can use mine!"_

_"Uh... huh. I see. Well, this was fun." Vinyl said, opening the door, fully prepared to put as much distance between herself and the crazy lady who may or may not also be a ninja, apparently. "But I think I hear Octavia calling. She's my ride home, and I'd hate to keep her waiting. So... uh... bye, I guess."_

_Pinkie blinked confusedly a few times, frowned briefly, and then smiled again, even wider than she was before. "Okey dokey, lokey! I'll see you around!"_

_"Yeah. Seeya."_

_She closed the door, and sighed. She'd been in a number of awkward situations before, drunk off her ass or otherwise, but that one took the cake. Alone in a room with a crazy pink lady that seemed to think carrying around a shitload of whoopie cushions was more important than wearing something under her dress._

_Well, that mental picture would be with her for a while, whether she wanted it to or not. And she kind of wanted it to. As far as completely batshit insane people go, Pinkie wasn't too hard on the eyes. And honestly, Vinyl always wondered if she was a natural pink. Now she knew._

_Yes. Yes she was._

_"There you are!"_

* * *

"And that's what happened." Vinyl finished, draining the glass of orange juice she didn't remember pouring before realizing it was her sister's. "Huh. Well, that's why. Because she's _crazy_."

"I expect you to pour me another glass, birthday girl." Octavia said dryly, before cracking a smile. "I also like how you left in the part about Pinkie being easy on the eyes. It really brings the whole story together."

"Shut up."

"No. I didn't know you like the ladies." Octavia teased, forking another forkful of waffle into her face. "In hindsight, it's pretty obvious. You're a slob, you wear men's underwear, you drink, you-"

"Hey!" Vinyl interrupted, pouring another glass of orange juice and then drinking it out of spite. "You drink!"

"No, I enjoy wine with my good friend Rarity. _You_ go out to a bar, drink until you can barely stand, and stumble home at two in the morning. Oh, and there was also that one time when you talked about how hot that one lady was."

* * *

_"That one lady's pretty hot." Vinyl said, pointing at the supermodel draped across the guy with the nice stache. "Hey, is that your pal Rarity over there?"_

* * *

"Oh yeah, I remember that."

"Which is surprising," Octavia began, setting down her fork. "Because you then immediately proceeded to _get drunk_."

"Eh, whatever. Now then, let's see what Crazy McBatshit got me. I swear, if it's a severed head, I'll... oh." She finished, quite anticlimactically. Inside the box was a single, neatly folded slip of paper, along with two knitted bowl-looking things. "Well, it's not a head. Let's see... _Dear Scratchy, I got you some headphone cozies. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN! Pinkie._ Wow. That was... awfully nice of her."

"You should really try to get to know her." Octavia said, silently wishing she had more waffles. "Rarity says she's always ready to make friends." She finished this sentence with a suggestive wink, and received a death-glare from her sister in response. "Oh, come on. She doesn't just hand out birthdays gifts to anyone, you know. Rarity said she hasn't gotten one in a while."

"But... they're, like, best friends!"

"Well, Pinkie can't afford gifts for everybody. All of her money goes towards those parties of hers. That's why she lives in the bakery, you know."

"No... I didn't." Vinyl replied, thinking very hard for a few seconds before starting towards the door. "I'll be back eventually!" She said, closing the door behind her as Octavia put her plate and fork into the dishwasher.

"Well, now I'm bored. I wonder what Rarity's doing?"

* * *

A/N

THERE. I DID IT. HAPPY NOW, WANKERS?

I feel like this went well. I feel like it could've gone better, but it went well.

This fic is secondary to me. I have a primary fic I'm currently writing called _Indigo_, and while that's gonna make no fucking sense whatsoever for a while, I have plans for it. This one, on the other hand, is just a little side project. I'm gonna go ahead and say that this is a prequel/spinoff to _Indigo_, so keep an eye out for plot details, people who are reading both of these!

Yeah, all two of you.

There aren't going to be a lot, but there will be _some_, and I think that's incentive enough.

-BEARSHARK


	2. For the Plot

I don't own any of this, blah blah blah here you go.

* * *

"I hate you _so fucking much_." Vinyl grumbled, glaring screaming, fiery death at her sister, who was used to it by now. "How did you even talk me into this?"

"Oh, it was easy. You were all broken up about not being able to find you girlfriend-"

"_Not my girlfriend_." She hissed, and Octavia laughed.

"About not being able to find _Pinkie_." The cellist corrected, enjoying this far too much. "And the spa always relaxes _me_, so why shouldn't it help relax _you_? So I spirited you away, and here we are. Naked in a steamy room. _Relaxing_." She added, pointing an accusing finger at her fuming little sister. "So _relax_."

"Fine." The younger conceded, sighing so dramatically that Rarity herself would be proud. "I'll try to _relax_. But I still hate you."

"And I'm okay with that. So... you never told me you were a lesbian."

"Are you trying to make small talk?" Vinyl asked, and Octavia shrugged.

"Just a simple question. Did you maybe think I would disapprove?"

"You know I give less than half a fuck about what you do and don't approve of. I just didn't think it was important. Never had a very special somebody, never hit on people when I wasn't drunk off my ass. Not a big deal. What's with the look?"

Octavia was eyeing her sister oddly, as though she were one of those pieces of gibberish art that take several seconds of staring and/or deep thought to understand. "Why?"

Vinyl belinked a few times, and then mimicked her sister's stance. Why what?"

"Why don't you have a very special somebody? I mean, yeah, you're pretty lazy most of the time, and you swear pretty much constantly, but you're not ugly, or overtly mean. What's stopping you? Are you afraid to ask?"

Vinyl mumbled something incomprehensible, and the eldest sister wrapped an arm around her sibling. "Tell you what. Rarity set up Lyra and Bon Bon, and Fluttershy and that farmer guy, and even the mayor with the judge. If anyone can help you, it's her."

"... Fine. But I'm still kind of bummed that I never got to thank Pinkie. Where is she, do you think (FORESHADOWING)?"

* * *

"I don't get it." Sweetie Belle said, feeling rather odd with cucumbers over her eyes. Her sister decided she was finally old enough for _the talk_, and Rarity said that if she was old enough for _the talk_, show old enough to go to the spa, and now, here she was, with a faceful of green stuff, a towel wrapped around her pastel hair, and the strangest sensation of being watched for some reason. Rarity sighed, and continued the explanation Sweetie so rudely interrupted.

"That's because I wasn't done. Then, the man takes that erection, and places it-"

"I meant the cucumbers." Sweetie interrupted, not particularily fond of having this conversation with her big sister. "Why do they put cucumbers on our eyes?"

"I always wondered that too!" Pinkie exclaimed, apparently in the chair beside Rarity. "I mean, at first I thought they were for snacking, but then I realized they would use something tasty if that was the case! Like candy, or cookies! Oh, or maybe some cookies wih candy on top! _Or candy with cookies on top_!"

"Er... how long have you been there, dearie?"

"About the time you started talking. So he does what with his erection?" The pink lady asked, feeling rather odd with a faceful of green stuff. Rarity sighed again, and peeled off the cucumbers to get a look at the pink lady. She was smiling widely (as usual), and the towel seemed barely able to contain her wild pink locks.

"No one ever gave you... _the talk_?" She asked, and Pinkie shrugged. Pinkie was easily the most innocent of her friends, even moreso than Fluttershy; at least Fluttershy occasionally borrowed one of the fashionista's more risque novels.

"I've had lots of talks! Sometimes I like to talk about baking, and my friends, and parties, and baking for parties for my friends!"

"Were we going to finish this conversation? Or are we done?" Sweetie asked, and with one, final sigh of terrible might, Rarity placed the cucumbers back over her eyes.

"It goes in your vagina." She said, and there was an awkward silence for a few minutes as the two people who weren't Rarity contemplated this astounding new revelation. Sweetie opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water, attempting to make sense of this fact, while Pinkie sat up and took off the cucumber slices, her eyes wide.

"Ooooh. So _that's_ what that's for! I guess I've been using mine wrong!"

"Too much information, dearie."

"Sorry. Does it _have_ to be with a guy, though? Because guys are kind of smelly. Well, most of them. Probably. I don't actually smell guys. Or girls. Usually." She added, leaning over and sniffing in Rarity's general direction while giggling. "You smell like those flowers! The ones with the petals and the colors, you know the ones! Hey, you know who else smelled like those?"

"Er... no?"

"Not Scratchy! She smelt like _waffles_!"

Sweetie grumbled something about how all the grown-ups were crazy and skulked off in the general direction of the whatever (she didn't really care, as long as it was quiet), leaving the two women to their nonsense. Pinkie didn't really seem to think much of this, and Rarity didn't seem to notice, because as soon as Pinkie finished that sentence that odd part of her psychology that fed on gossip was flipped on, as it usually did when she discovered something about her friends she didn't know before. "Hm. And who is this... _Scratchy_?" She goaded carefully, having enough experience in the art of gathering information for the purpose of spreading said information about town quietly and without chance of detection to know not to try and get all of the details at once. Short, general answers were the way to go, and even though she new gossiping could, under certain extenuating circumstances, be harmful, it was quite hard to stop with the nice ladies at the salon constantly going back and forth with it while she got her mani-pedi. "A friend of yours?"

"Yeah! At the wedding, we did the music, and then we found a closet, and then she got really uncomfortable, and then she left, and then I put my clothes back on, and then today is her birthday, and then I got her a gift, and now I'm broke, and do you think I'm pretty?" The pink lady asked in a single breath, as the towel finally decided it couldn't hold back the flood any longer, and simply exploded off her head, her metric ton of curls bouncing right back into place. Rarity took a rather dainty bite from a slice of cucumber, and blinked confusedly a few times.

"Say again?" She asked, and Pinkie obliged.

"I said, at the wedding, we did the music, and then we found a closet, and then she got really uncomfortable, and then she left, and then I put my clothes back on, and then today is her birthday, and then I got her a gift, and now I'm broke, and do you think I'm pretty?"

"Just that last part, please."

Pinkie scrunched up her face into something resembling a thoughtful expression, and then clapped her hnds gleefully upon deciphering Rarity's instructions. "Do you think I'm pretty?"

"_That's_ the one. Why do you ask?" She added, raising a coiffed eyebrow. Pinkie harrumphed, as though the answer was obvious, and repositioned herself into a much more comfortable and also upside-down sitting position.

"I dunno. It's just that everybody calls _you_ pretty, and when Fluttershy's all down in the dumps, you call _her_ pretty to make her feel better about herself, and then when Spike thinks nobody else is listening, he tells Sweetie Belle that _she's_ pretty! But nobody's ever called _me_ pretty before!"

"Does that bother you?"

"No!" Pinkie replied, perhaps more defensively than was meant. "I've just always wondered why." She corrected, sitting up and dropping the comfy robe that covered her body. "Well?"

"Er... wait a minute, where's Sweetie?" Rarity questioned, suddenly feeling rather inadequate and welcome to a change of topic. "She was just here!"

"No she wasn't! She wandered off like three minutes ago! Said something about us being crazy?" Pinkie shrugged, and reattatched her covering as Rarity proceeded to freak right the hell out.

"We need to find her!. Who _knows_ what sort of carnage she could unleash here?"

"Oh, it couldn't possibly be that bad, right?"

"It certainly can. Where could she be?"

"Is this yours?" Came a voice from the doorway, and both of them turned to see a tall, athletic man dressed all in black for some reason with a firm hand on Sweetie's shoulder. He looked quite amused about the whole thing, while Sweetie Belle wore a frown of terrible might, the kind that usually only graced her features after a long, hard day of not finding her special talent and earning that mark on her shoulder she and her friends so desperately wanted. "I found her rummaging around in my friend's things."

Rarity gasped the gaspiest gasp outside of an alternate reality where everybody speaks in gasps, narrowed her eyes, and aplced her hand on her hips in the universal stance of _You are getting such a talking to_. "I'm very sorry for my sister's intrusion. She likes to... _wander_."

"Don't they all." He replied, releasing the pastel-haired girl. "Don't worry too much about it, what my friend doesn't know won't hurt her. Say, we're... _new_ here. Would you happen to know of a place we could stay?"

As Rarity was too busy giving her sister the closest approximation to The Stare anyone who wasn't Fluttershy could manage, Pinkie decided to answer this time. "Well, just about anybody would let you stay at their place! Oh, maybe you and your friend could stay at _my_ place! It could be like a sleepover! We could stay up all night, and play board games, and tell scary stories, and paint our nails, and all sorts of fun stuff!"

He laughed, and adjusted the sunglasses he was wearing indoors for some reason "We might take you up on that offer, miss...?"

"I'm Pinkie! And that's my friend Rarity!" The pink lady enthusiastically exclaimed. "What's your name?"

"My friends call me Red." He answered. "And my friend's-"

* * *

"You'll find her eventually, don't worry." Octavia soothed, patting her sister on the back and ruffling her hair. "So buck up. Oh, and you know what? We still need to get a cake and maybe she'll be back there be the time we're done."

"Which is _soon_, hopefully." Vinyl teased, eliciting a bonk on the noggin for her trouble. "What the fuck was that for?"

"For not _relaxing_. So shut up and do so, before I do it again." The cellist ordered, not serious in the slightest. "So then, have you had eyes for anyone at all?"

But before her sister could respond with a few choice words and a heaping helping of sarcasm, as per usual, the door to the sauna burst open, illuminating a figure standing in the doorway. "Who's that?" Vinyl asked, and the figure laughed.

"It is I! The great and powerful Trixie!"

"Never heard of you."

"Yes, Trixie's been getting that a lot recently." The silver-haired magician stated, taking a seat across from the sisters and sighing. "All thanks to _Twilight Sparkle_."

* * *

DUN DUN DUUUUUN

Yeah, there ya go. Something happened, some kind of glitch or something, that wouldn't le me save my text, so this took _way_ too long to finish. But it should be easy sailing from here on out, so expect to see updates at least once a week.

I really like Trixie. I couldn't leave her out of this or, by extension, Indigo.

And speaking of Indigo, I had to restart the entire chapter. Fabulous. But I'm working on that right now, so expect that by the end of the week if all goes as planned.

-BEARSHARK


	3. Face First

A/N

I had no idea how to proceed after Chapter 2.

So, I went the Deus Ex Machina route:

TIME LAPSE!

Please don't hate me.

_Italics means flashback._

Blah blah blah disclaimer.

* * *

2 HOURS AFTER CHAPTER TWO

* * *

"Cake for lunch?" Vinyl asked curiously, as Pinkie placed two plates on the table, each supporting a massive chunk of chocolate cake. The headphone cozies were a perfect fit, and Vinyl's apprehension about Pinkie in general was pretty much nonexistant now. She was just a bit... _bouncy_ is all.

"Yeah! I was up all night and then I overselpt and it was too late for breakfast and then I needed to ask Rarity a question and then I met a new friend on the way over and he gave me some advice and then went off to punch the princess or something and then I found Rarity and ten I forgot my question and then I ran into your guys at the spa! I made it myself!" She added, as though the second sentence had never happened, which it might as well not have, since Vinyl was too busy having a cakegasm to listen properly.

"So _good_." She moaned, unable to stuff her face fast enough. She was pretty surprised to see Pinkie at the (_blegh_) spa, let alone in the (_blegh_) sauna, where everybody is (meh) naked. Pinkie had immediately plopped right down on the seat beside her, and talked and talked and talked while Rarity and Octavia said something about boring stuff, probably. She talked about baking, and her friends, and partying, and then baking some more, and then partying, and then baking, and at some point there might've been an apology for taking her clothes off before the first date or something. Eventually, Vinyl realized Octavia had let her stay there past lunch time, which was _unacceptable_. The DJ required food if she was going to stay a happy camper, and Pinkie was kind enough to offer. "What did you put in here?"

"Oh, y'know. Chocolate and eggs and milk and flour and friendship and sprinkles and frosting! What I always put in my pastries! It tastes even better if you eat it like _this_!" She replied, slamming her face into her slice. Vinyl thought very, _very_ hard for a few moments, and then shrugged.

"What the hell." She said, doing the same.

And Pinkie was right. It _did_ taste better that way, somehow. Both women lifted their heads back up, and looked at eachother's cakeface. There was a moment of silence, and Pinkie used a finger to dab a bit more on Vinyl's nose. "Boop!"

Both burst out laughing, their food forgotten. Vinyl was quite glad she hadn't worn her goggles; she liked to keep them nice and clean, and her face and hair was filled with frosting, and what felt like sprinkles in her ears. "Oh man." She finally managed to say, holding her sides after at least five minutes of laughter. "Why don't we hang out more often?"

"Weeeeeeeell... I dunno! But we should! Maybe at your party!"

"I'm having a party?" Vinyl asked, and Pinkie giggled, grabbing a chunk of cake from her cheek and taking a bite.

"You are now, silly! There's gonna be music, and dancing, and cake, and everybody's gonna be there, and it's gonna be _so much fun_! Oh, there's my new friend!" She suddenly exclaimed, somehow knowing someone was about to enter the Sugarcube Corner. Sure enough, a tall, short-haired man wearing what looked like hobo clothes and shades pushed through the swinging doors, and approached Mr. Cake, who was manning the counter. "Hey, Red!" She called, waving at him He nodded back, and dropped a handful of bits on the display case seperating himself from Mr. Cake.

"Dozen chocolate donuts, please. With sprinkles." He added with a glance towards the chocolate ladies. Mr. Cake handed him his purchase, and he pulled up a third chair to their table with a lazy flick of his glowing hand. "Want some?"

"Yes." The both said simultaneously, and he smirked.

"Help youselves. So, who's your friend?" He asked, nodding to Vinyl, who was already on her second pastry. Pinkie swallowed hers whole, and chased it dow with a piece of cake from the top of her head.

"That's Scratchy!"

"Hey." She greeted, holding out her hand. He shook it, and grabbed a donut. "So, are you a friend of Pinkie's?"

"Oh, I think a better question would be, who's _not_ a friend of Pinkie's?" He joked, taking a chunk out of the pastry. "We met at the spa earlier. It's a long story."

"No it's not!" Pinkie corrected, trying to lick some frosting right next to her mouth.

* * *

_"Er... wait a minute, where's Sweetie?" Rarity questioned, suddenly feeling rather inadequate and welcome to a change of topic. "She was just here!"_

_"No she wasn't! She wandered off like three minutes ago! Said something about us being crazy?" Pinkie shrugged, and reattatched her covering as Rarity proceeded to freak right the hell out._

_"We need to find her!. Who knows what sort of carnage she could unleash here?"_

_"Oh, it couldn't possibly be that bad, right?"_

_"It certainly can. Where could she be?"_

_"Is this yours?" Came a voice from the doorway, and both of them turned to see a tall, athletic man dressed all in black for some reason with a firm hand on Sweetie's shoulder. He looked quite amused about the whole thing, while Sweetie Belle wore a frown of terrible might, the kind that usually only graced her features after a long, hard day of not finding her special talent and earning that mark on her shoulder she and her friends so desperately wanted. "I found her rummaging around in my friend's things."_

_Rarity gasped the gaspiest gasp outside of an alternate reality where everybody speaks in gasps, narrowed her eyes, and aplced her hand on her hips in the universal stance of You are getting such a talking to. "I'm very sorry for my sister's intrusion. She likes to... wander."_

_"Don't they all." He replied, releasing the pastel-haired girl. "Don't worry too much about it, what my friend doesn't know won't hurt her. Say, we're... new here. Would you happen to know of a place we could stay?"_

_As Rarity was too busy giving her sister the closest approximation to The Stare anyone who wasn't Fluttershy could manage, Pinkie decided to answer this time. "Well, just about anybody would let you stay at their place! Oh, maybe you and your friend could stay at my place! It could be like a sleepover! We could stay up all night, and play board games, and tell scary stories, and paint our nails, and all sorts of fun stuff!"_

_He laughed, and adjusted the sunglasses he was wearing indoors for some reason "We might take you up on that offer, miss...?"_

_"I'm Pinkie! And that's my friend Rarity!" The pink lady enthusiastically exclaimed. "What's your name?"_

* * *

"Huh. I guess it wasn't a long story." He said, shrugging. "Oh well."

"Hey! You should come to Scratchy's party!" Pinkie suggested. "There's gonna be music, and dancing, and cake, and everybody's gonna be there, and it's gonna be _so much fun_!"

"I might. So, what do you want for your birthday?" He asked Vinyl, who shrugged.

"Maybe some booze. That way I won't have to go out to get drunk."

He laughed, and stood up, grabbing the box that still contained about five donuts. "Yeah, I'll see what I can do. You two have fun now, you hear?"

And with a flash of red light, he was gone. Vinyl scoffed, and picked some cake out of her hair. "Showoff. So, what now?" She asked. Pinkie shrugged, still giggling.

"Well, _I've_ gotta get your party ready!"

"Yeah, I guess you do. See you tonight?"

"Yep!"

* * *

"And then I came over here!" Pinkie said, doing her best to hold completely still as Rarity measured her. "What's this for again?"

"Princess Celestia tasked me with creating a dress for her to wear at her sister's birthday party. And you're the only person in town who has a similar bust." The fashionista clarified, writing down her results. "All done, dearie. You can put your shirt back on."

"What does _similar_ _bust_ mean?" Pinkie questioned, and Rarity raised a perfectly coiffed eyebrow.

"Really?" She asked, and Pinkie nodded vigorously. "It means your breasts are about the same size."

"Oh, okay. Is that good? I mean, sometimes it kinda looks like somebody stuffed some watermelons down my shirt. Or volleyballs. Or pumpkins. And most of the guys stare at them a lot, like something's wrong with them. _Is_ there something wrong with them?" She asked, visibly concerned. Rarity sighed, and handed the pink lady her shirt.

"They're fine dearie. Not many people are born with such... _assets_. Like Rainbow Dash." She added, smirking. That was quite a sore subject for the rainbow speedster. "You're quite lucky to have them."

"Oh, good. I was worried there for a while! Hey, are you coming to Scratchy's party? There's gonna be music, and dancing, and cake, and everybody's gonna be there, and it's gonna be _so much fun_!"

* * *

"And then she told me I'm lucky to have watermelons in my shirt!" Pinkie said, bounicng gently in place as Twilight worked around her. Apparently it was cleaning day, and at leat three featherdusters were floating around, smacking everything in their path. "But don't worry, Twilight! I'm sure oranges are good too!"

"Gee, _thanks_." Twilight grumbled, re-arranging her entire Daring Doo collection. "So, what did you need?"

"Oh, I almost forgot!" The pink lady said, smacking a palm against her forehead. "Silly Pinkie! I wanted to know if you wanted ot go to scratchy's party! There's gonna be music, and dancing, and cake, and everybody's gonna be there, and it's gonna be _so much fun_!"

* * *

"There's gonna be music, and dancing, and cake, and everybody's gonna be there, and it's gonna be _so much fun_!" Pinkie shouted from the roof of the library. Far above, Rainbow Dash shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess." She yelled back, and Pinkie jumped for joy.

"Yay!"

* * *

"Oh, I'd love to, but Mr. and Mrs. Bear are expecting. I need to stay by their side in case they need any help." Fluttershy mumbled, her face a bright red. "But tell... um... _Scratchy_ happy birthday for me, would you?"

"Okey dokey lokey!" The pink lady replied, bouncing out of Fluttershy's bathroom, leaving the quiet angel shaking her head in disbelief.

"How did she even get inn here? I locked the door!"

* * *

"There's gonna be music, and dancing, and cake, and everybody's gonna be there, and it's gonna be _so much_... wait, I don't know you." Pinkie finished lamely, looking over the odd man closely. His hair was even spikier than Rainbow Dash's, and he was wearing a rather fancy brown coat. "Oh, are you new?"

"Er... yes, acually. I just moved into that little blue house on top of the hill." He replied in a funny accent that reminded her of Pip, pointing over to the hill. Sure enough, there was a little blue house standing atop it, easily one of the smallest she'd ever seen.

"But it's so _tiny_." She said, and he smiled knowingly in response.

"Yes. But it's bigger on the inside."

* * *

A/N

Okay. I think that's the extent of the Indigo crossovers you're going to see. Except for maybe Discord eventually, but probably not.

God_damn_, Pinkie laughs in the face of reality itself. The next chapter's gonna be a doozy, maybe about twice as long as the rest of these. I hope you guys aren't averse to my favorite ships, because a few of those are gonna pop up.

In other news, seriously, go check out Indigo. It's gonna be EPIC once it starts making any sense.

-BEARSHARK

PS: I had an idea a while back to do a series of Pokemon oneshots featuring my team from Pearl. Would any of you guys and/or gals read that?


End file.
